Holiday Spirit!!!

So, I'm sitting at work today and realize that I am out of coffee.  As slow and as cold as its been, coffee was going to be a necessity, so I make my happy way on down to the grocery store.

Other than my feet being cold and being out of coffee, my day is going along perfectly!  Not sure I could be a whole lot happier, and at this time, all I want is stuff to make coffee at work.  Nothing else.  I find a spot in the parking lot, put the car in park and reply to a text that a friend sent me.

Another car pulls up alongside of me.  I notice a younger couple hopping out of the car, and the lady who was riding in the passenger side of the vehicle has her face all messed up and she is staring at me like I just tracked cow shit across her new Persian rug.  Big deal, I think to myself and get back to replying to the text.

Just as I shut the truck off, there is a knock on the window.  It's the lady.  The one with the messed up face.  (I'll add that she looks like she smells like pee.)  I roll the window down to find out what's up and before I can say a single word she says in an angry tone, "We don't sit and let our cars idle here in Jackson." 

Now, me being me, I knew where I was going to take this.  When opportunity knocks, you have to take full advantage.  I replied in my kindest voice, "Oh gee, I'm sorry.  I pulled into this spot about 20 seconds before you pulled in and I was responding to a text.  I normally don't make a habit of just sitting around and letting my truck run."

She adds, "We are concerned about the environment.  People like you drive these big ass trucks that suck down so much gas, throw out so much carbon and other pollution.  It's just irresponsible and I wish people like you would be more responsible."

I hop out of the vehicle because I was going to make my way into the store.  The young gentleman said, "Heather, come on.  He doesn't get it.''  She was getting ready to chime in with some more useless gibberish but I cut her and him off at the pass.  "No, no.  I totally get it, and who wouldn't be worried about the environment.  Me, sitting there idling, texting a friend and wasting gas is something that I should not be doing.  It's irresponsible.  Again, I'm sorry."

The girl responds, "Do you even live here?"  I said yes and added, "for longer than you've been alive."  Her response was, "Then how can you just sit there and let your truck idle?"  Her body language made me believe that she was going to sit and continue making her point, even though I didn't give a shit about her, her point, the fact that she looked like she smelled like piss and her boyfriend was wearing pajamas. 

I asked, "Do you actually live here?  Do you actually have a job?"  Now, her skinny assed, pajama wearing boyfriend starts to make his way towards me and his darling little princess.  "I do live here.  I do have a job, but what I do is none of your business."  I nodded and said, "This is an interesting conversation.  You think its none of my business what you do but at the same time, you think its your business to tell me how to conduct my own business?"  She emphatically nodded and said, "Yeah.  You just can't do stupid shit like that."

I grinned.  Some of my friends would have recognized this as me getting ready to lose my shit, stomp the shit out of both of them and then look for a spot for the bodies.  Instead, I said...  "Do you know what?  You're right.  It was stupid and again I apologize.  I can see that this really has you worked up and today of all days is not a day to be all worked up.  This is a day to be grateful and thankful and I also believe that under different circumstances, you and I would probably enjoy each other's company."

Now, she's dumbfounded.  She thought she was going to get a fight out of me.  She was most definitely in the market for one, but my apology must have sounded so sincere.  The look on her face changed.  Her body language changed and she seemed to relax a little bit.  I added, "I have to make my way into the store and grab a few things so I can get back to work, but I want to ask you another question or two before I go.  Is that okay?"

She nodded and said "Yeah, please.  Ask me a question."  I said, "So, you live here and work here, correct?''  She answered yes.  I then asked, "Do you ever, uhm.... go fuck yourself?"  and then I walked around her and her stick figure boyfriend. 

It got awful quiet there in the parking lot.  I'm sure I somehow managed to screw up their all-vegan, no gluten, high fiber, sticks and dirt tofu turkey dinner.  And it's that folks.... That makes me truly thankful.

Enjoy your day, friends.