Thursday, August 12, 2021

Loading the dishwasher....

 

God damn it... Fightbook, I mean Facebook is at it again.  I log on this morning to see who is doing what before I go look for bears and I see this stupid ass picture.  This picture is of a guy, squatted down alongside the dishwasher, holding a fork in one hand and a sign in the other.  The sign says, "up or down" referring to how you are supposed to put the fork in the dishwasher.


This is stupid but it doesn't capture the stupidity in its entirety.  Nope, the ensuing arguments did that.  "Well, you gotta put the fork in tines down so you don't stab yourself when you take the forks out of the dishwasher."  "No, you have to have the tines of the fork up, so they get cleaned."  

Okay dipshits, I have a news flash for you....  Its a fucking dishwasher!  It doesn't give a shit how you do it!!!  There are 2 wrong ways of loading a dishwasher, and only 2 wrong ways... so listen up!  Removing both racks and just tossing all of your dishes in the bottom is "Wrong #1" and taking a shit in the soap tray is "Wrong #2" (literally and figuratively, if you will)!  End of the god damned discussion!

If you're so mindless and frail that a fork tine can cause you damage when accidentally touching them, guess what?  You now only get to use a fucking spoon!  How about that?  The big fucking pokey thingy is dangerous and you can't have one!  I'd tell you to use your hands but you'd probably bite your finger and then try to sue your fucking dentist!  

And "tines down" and "not getting clean".  Let me tell you something.  The water in a dishwasher is so fucking hot, you can cook a chicken with it. Between the hot ass water and the soap, your beloved fork is going to be clean... that's it!  End of the god damned discussion!!!!

What in the fuck is there to fight about?  I know there are assholes out there who have to load the dishwasher a certain way.  I know these people.  These are the most ungrateful shits on the planet.  You go to their house, eat dinner and in an attempt to help clean up, you load the dishwasher....  Nice effort, in my book but not these ungrateful shits... Nope, they dramatically unload the dishwasher and then reload the thing by plate size, color, shape and the spoons go in one little fucking spot, knives in another and folks in another... as if the dishwasher gives a shit!!!  The dishwasher gives NO SHITS WHATSOEVER!  If you do this, you're an asshole.  Post that shit on Facebook!

And while I have your god damned attention, listen to this!  You don't go thrust your face into the silverware holder when emptying the dishwasher because it isn't safe.  That means for once in your stupid life, you paid a little attention.  If you're paying any attention at all, the sharp, pokey thingy won't hurt you.

Put all of your silverware in the little silverware thing, how ever you want.  Be a god damned renegade and go all willy-nilly... because it doesn't matter, then put soap in and then press the go button!  You are now washing dishes correctly!  

We're talking about a fork and the dishwasher and safety issues... how is this shit even a thing?  Were not talking about bullshit 1 ply toilet paper and the adverse affects it can have on your asshole!  By the way, I don't care if you use 20 grit sandpaper on your ass, you masochistic sons-a-bitches.  Its your ass and if you don't care, neither do I.  I also don't care about this... This shit is only a thing in America and America-lite (Canada).  Knock it off, God damn it!