White Lipstick?

Remember when the "Goth" look first came out?  None of "us" really understood it and every one of us stared when we encountered someone trying to pull that shit off.  Now, many years later, we barely notice them.  At least I don't.  It's almost as good as the new normal.  And face it.  Those kids want to be individuals, unique... just like everyone else who looks exactly like them.  Let them have it.  In reality, it opens up job opportunities for the rest of us.

Any ways, I caught something this morning that I don't believe I'll soon forget.  White lipstick...  if it wasn't white, it was a very light silver.  I believe I've seen it before but this morning was different.  2 different women, very different ages, both wearing the white lipstick and they weren't even together but they were in the same place.  You know, perhaps a mother and daughter might give that a go, but this wasn't the case.  And the thing is, they were dressed normal so it wasn't really part of their "get up".
                                                                            

What they did have going on was this air of snootiness.  Both of them had their heads tilted slightly back and their noses up in the air.  It was like they ruled the valley and were among mere peasants.  They really didn't want to be troubled by waiting in line.  You could sense it.  One was right in front of me and the other one was on another line, but generally facing my direction.  She kept doing this weird breathing thing, like a real big inhale and this semi-agonizing sigh by being forced to wait in line amongst us peasants.  So after I heard that shit for the second time, I decided to do something that I really enjoy doing.

Have you seen "Full Metal Jacket"?  Do you remember Private Pyle?  Remember when he wigged out and he had that "nobody home" look?  His brow furrowed, head tilted slightly down and staring through his eyebrows with the blankest expression on his face? Mouth slightly agape? Yeah, I like staring at people with that look on my face, and no matter what happens, DO NOT BREAK CHARACTER.  Stare at them like you are trying to burn a hole through their head with your stare.  And its best if you do not blink!  Eventually, they notice it.  Eventually.....

When she made eye contact with me, she looked down real quick basically because I had busted her but I could tell that she saw that look on my face.  As soon as she thought I broke my stare, she glanced back at me.  (I cranked it up a notch.)  I had a semi smile and was doing some exaggerated breathing... big chest movements, with my eyes locked on hers.  She immediately turned her back towards me.  She was uneasy... it was obvious.  I wish everyone else in the store could turn the shit on and really freak her out, but it was just me. 

As the line progressed, she again tried to sneak a peek and I still had her locked in.  I hadn't moved a muscle in my face.  She now appeared to have a concerned look on her face.  This shit was getting to her.  Line moves again and I am up at the exact time she is up, and we kind of have to look at each other.  The clerk asks, "how are you today" and I didn't say anything... just stared at her majesty.  The clerk said, "can I get anything else for you?", so I wanted to add a little something else, you know, a bit more flavor.  (I have the worlds worst Australian accent, so I busted that out.)  "No thanks mate, that'll do" and for some dumb reason I said "polly wog, chop-chop".  Everyone in the immediate area kind of gave me the "WTF" look, but the royalty was doing all she could to get out of the store as fast as she could.  Since we more or less got at the door at the same time, I felt like laughing like "The Count" from Sesame Street but I pulled up short because she wasted no time getting out of that joint and putting some distance between she and I.

Anyhow, I hopped in the car and had a laugh.  The shit was kind of funny. 

I went through all of that, just to tell you this.  The white lipstick thing?  Don't do it.  You look like a fucking cadaver!  Not hot...dead.  You look fucking dead.  I bet you $500 bucks that if you are wearing that shit standing in a cemetery or a field, someone will bust in square in the head and try to bury your dead/undead/zombie looking ass.