Happy Monday! I hope everyone is having a peach of a day. Sure is pretty enough around here to be having a good day. Not sure why I got a hitch in my giddy-up, but damned if I don't.
I've been talking about my upcoming shoulder surgery a bit lately. I'm not scared about it. I just want it done and I want to get through that first week of bullshit, then I will be able to handle everything else.
Surgeries, it seems, are a bit different than the last one I had. I had an umbilical hernia repaired 25-27 years ago. Everything that needed to be done was done in the office pre-op. Nowadays, you get to do a lot of this stuff online. I'm sure some of you are saying, "Oh yeah, so much more convenient." Well, your buddy can't figure this shit out.
I had to fill out this thing called a patient portal. This little gem of an idea is supposed to make corresponding with the surgical center and everyone else involved so much easier. One of the things it asks you to do is 'produce a strong password'.
I worked on this bullshit for 45 minutes. buddhalikesmuffins was not strong enough. ddbdrdwd1967 wasn't strong enough. maryhadalittlebuzzard wasn't strong enough. kickthecat883 wasn't strong enough and it was about at this point that I started losing my shit.
I spelled my childhood address backwards and that wasn't strong enough. I spelled zyzzyzyermocalif1987 and that wasn't strong enough. I used copenhagen101.5, KOMProckslasvegas, pocketpuppy, loverlipz, lmaoIamgoingtoshit... none good enough.
I scrolled to the top of the page. I re-read all of the instructions. I went back to where I am supposed to type this "strong password". I typed in brushyeyebrows and noticed a little eyeball icon to the right of it. I clicked on it and it said, burshyeyebrows is taken but brushyeyebrows097 is not. I type in burshyeyebrows097 and hit enter..... not strong enough.
All of the bullshit I could come up with is not strong enough. The god damned suggestion that THEY MADE was not strong enough!!!!
Well, I threw my phone in the recycle basket and walked away. I took a 5 minute walk and came back. At the bottom of the page I found this nice little "help' button. I clicked on it and it allowed me to type a message to the "specialist".
I wrote exactly this: I've been messing with registering for 45 minutes and for one reason or another, I cannot come up with a password that is strong enough. The little green light says it is STRONG ENOUGH, but as soon as I hit send, I get another FUCKING message that says my password is not strong enough. Now what?
Cicely, who seems to be a very kind person wrote back. Her advice was to type a password and if it isn't strong enough, the little eye icon would suggest one that is strong enough.
I replied: Cicely, no dice. I typed exactly what they told me was strong enough and it didn't work. At this point, I'd rather try my hand at stuffing cooked spaghetti noodles up a rabid bobcats ass than play little typewriter games. I am having a shoulder surgery. I don't give 2 half shits about anyone knowing my business and I am not in the mood for coming up with an unbreakable code for a fucking password that I'll never, ever remember.
Cicely hasn't responded. If I were her, I'd be laughing right now. I don't know what in the world that I am doing wrong but I cannot mess with that shit any more today.... I just can't. I bet I can't do it tomorrow. I mean, I have created passwords 100 times at least-no issue! Why NOW!
By the way, dirtysanchez, dirtyjuanita, dirtypirate, baltimorebrownie, puffypoundcake, fecalfelon, knobgobbler2000, gofuckyourself, gofuckmyself, gofucktheneighbor, Ilovepoliticians, chickenchoker, chokedchicken, wonderbra, elvisshitthebed, hunchbackedmidgethooker and ifmyhearthadanass, i'dkick it.. None of them worked... at one point it told me that I can't use punctuation.
Well, fucked again. I'll get home and let the wife have a crack at it. If she gets it.... I don't know what I'll do. Probably cuss a lot more. Go throw a hammer or light my cellphone on fire. I'm done...
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