Things I don't understand....

The more I think about it, the more I realize there are a lot of things I just don't understand.  I try not to spend much time trying to figure these things out.  I really do, but some of them just get stuck in my head.  This morning's stop at the convenience store brought a few things to my attention that I really am having a hard time putting away.

I've gone off on "bikers" before, but its because I don't understand today's bikers.  I've tried to get it.  I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said, "Harley, if you have to ask you wouldn't understand."  I find that a tad bit pretentious...  If I understood, I wouldn't ask, right?  So me being me, I felt obligated to ask.  "So you're a biker, eh?"  I mean, he had the dumb ass, brand new t-shirt I described above which made the insinuation that he was indeed a biker.  He nodded.  He was also trying to avoid eye contact or any further interaction with me.  "I noticed your shirt.  You ride a Harley, eh?  I couldn't tell because you are driving a brand new motor coach, dragging a trailer that could be filled with anything."  He again nodded.  "So its safe to assume that when you are not driving this motor coach, you are actually riding what you are hauling around in the trailer?'  Then it happened.  He said, "Why are you asking me these questions?"  I said, "I'm inquisitive, I guess.  Perhaps I don't understand."

The guy got mad, and honestly that is what I was trying to get to.  I hadn't had coffee yet, so I had to do something to get the blood pumping.  Anyhow, the conversation did progress.  "Why are you fucking with me?" they guy asked.  "I'm not fucking with you.  I am asking questions, making small talk.  You might say that I am a town ambassador.  I want you to feel comfortable, welcome even, in our sleepy little mountain town."  At this point his head tilted like a dogs does when it hears a high pitched noise.  I continue, "So you're not so much a "Sons of Anarchy" type of biker as much as you are a "Sons of a Middle Aged Crisis" type of biker, right?"  Now, he's fully mad and I am almost fully satisfied.

Now let me back track a little bit.  Here's this guy who is claiming to be a biker.  He is wearing the dumb t-shirt that his dumb girlfriend bought for him right after he bought himself the likewise dumb "If you can read this, the bitch fell off" t-shirt.  With that, he was wearing black designer jeans, a big ass silver concho belt, and naturally.... silver tipped cowboy boots.  All of his attire screamed "asshole", not biker.

"I ride all of the time", he said.  "All of the time?  Like when you are not hauling the bike around?" I ask.  He was mad or embarrassed.  "What in the fuck do you want from me?" he said semi-confidently so I asked, "Explain the dumb slogan on your dumb shirt...."  He shook his head, finished pumping diesel into the motor coach, hopped in and fired it up.  He left without answering my question.

All of that brought me to this.  The reason why some assholes wear shirts that say "Harley, if you have to ask you wouldn't understand" is because they can't explain themselves.  Now I do understand.

Other shit I don't understand:
     *Why won't God heal amputees?
     *Why doesn't gum keep its flavor like it used too in the old days?
     *Why would you use Coca Cola (a corrosive beverage) to clean rust (corrosion) from metal?
     *Why do some women wear low cut shirts that show off their cleavage and then complain when
       men look?
     *Why are lap dances better when the stripper is crying?
     *Religion
     *Relatives