How is everyone doing? Happy Memorial Day Weekend. I haven't been on this thing for a while. If you're new around here, I like to get on here every once in a while and tell a story or give my opinion on something. Sometimes funny and sometimes a bit more serious, but this won't be that.
I can't believe I haven't told this one yet. To me, this ranks pretty high on the obnoxious scale for me. It was a situation where a little bit of alcohol made people think I was something that perhaps I was not. Hang on for a second and I'll try to paint the picture.
I moved to Wyoming in 1989. I knew about 4 people in the whole state and they were mostly family. But this being a small town and me being in the business I was in, I met a lot of people in a short period of time. Mostly good folks, mind you. There were a few unsavory characters in the mix but you will have that just about anywhere you go.
So anyhow, lets jump forward a year. It's 1990 in Jackson, Wyoming. I am now tending bar. I know a lot of people now, especially folks in the same industry that I was in. There used to be this joint south of town that was good for steaks and libations. The gentleman that ran the joint was a regular at the Cowboy Bar. He'd stop in for a Heineken or a cup of coffee after making his deposit at the bank. (I'll call him Mike... well, everyone called him Mike. That was his name.)
Mike stopped in one morning and asked if I knew this particular couple that had recently gotten hitched. The names sounded familiar but I always had to cross reference a name with where they worked. The woman worked for Mike and her new husband worked construction in the valley. Super nice folks and although I didn't know them personally, I did know who they were.
Mike said, "They come in here often. They eloped a couple of weeks ago and I am putting together a small get together for them down at the Pub. You ought to stop by, have a beer and some hor d'oeuvres and say howdy."
Mike assured me that there would be a few folks there that I did know and that it was sure to be a good time. So, I told Mike that I would attend. Mike shook my hand and said, "See you then" and out the door he went.
I worked the day of the party. I came home, took a shower and got gussied up a bit. I went as far as to wear a sport jacket and I hardly ever do that! I arrive at the venue and as usual, Mike greets me at the door. As usual, a warm smile, a good handshake and Mike said, "The gathering is over here in the corner." As we walked around the corner of the bar, Mike picked me up a beer and introduced me to the bride and groom.
We chatted for a few minutes and then the rest of the group started to arrive. I kind of stepped out of the way and allowed everyone else to say hey to the bride and groom. I ordered myself another beer and talked with a bartender that I knew. A minute or two later, a couple of people I did know showed up. I had a beer or two with them and realized that I had to make my way to the restroom.
As I proceeded towards the lavatory, I got stopped by a nice older couple that I knew. I shook their hands and had a brief conversation. As I moved away, I ran into some of my regular customers from the Cowboy. I had a chat with them and then made my way to my destination.
I did what I had to do there and came back out. The dining room was about half full, which was typical for the time of day. It seemed as if I knew about 75% of the people in there. I was walking around, shaking hands, giving hugs.... I looked like a guy running for political office. It dawned on me that I was talking to almost everyone in the room. It might have looked like I worked there with my nicely ironed jeans, new boots, white shirt and jacket on.
I decided that it was time to get back to my corner and out of the dining room. Just as I turned to walk back into the bar area, a gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Can you tell me what the specials are this evening?"
The right thing to do would have been to tell the guy that I didn't work there. I didn't do that. Like I mentioned above, I had a little liquid courage on board so I answered him this way. "I'd be glad to tell you about our specials. As usual, our steaks are hand cut daily. You can't go wrong with the large filet or one of our ribeye steaks. We do have a fish special tonight. It's a seared swordfish with a mixed fruit salsa served with a wild rice medley. We also have a pan seared tuna appetizer that comes with a wasabi dipping sauce. The Surf and Turf is on special tonight. It's an 8oz prime filet paired with a 6 oz lobster tail and that comes with all of the trimmings and your choice of potato."
At this point, I was talking out of my ass. I had no business saying what I said, but now it's out there and I had to go hide, so I did. I nodded and said, "Your server will be with you in just a moment." I got back to my corner, ordered another beer and didn't tell anyone what I just did.
For the life of me, I don't know why I didn't tell the guy that I didn't work there. This was the first time that I ever smart assed off like this, and, well, I thought I was hilarious.
From where I was standing, I could see this particular table. Their server arrived at their table. I watch him go through the greeting process. As he is talking to the gentleman, I notice that the woman said something and is looking around the room. The server excused himself for a couple of minutes and came back to the table with someone from the kitchen.
Now there is a big discussion going on. I wouldn't say it was heated but they were definitely trying to sort some things out. About a minute later, my friend Mike showed up at the table.
If anyone was going to get things sorted, it was Mike. This guy was one of the best Front of House/Hosts I ever met in my life. I don't know if he knows this, but he taught me a lot. Anyways, they are all involved in this discussion. Mike is looking around like he is trying to find the person who gave these nice folks a line of shit about the specials. The server walks away and comes back in a minute with a bottle of red wine.
Now the male customer is standing up. I am thinking that I had probably be ready to intervene as Mike was not a fighter and this guy looked to be pretty pissed off. He ends up shaking Mikes hand, has a seat and enjoys a glass of wine while he waits for his order.
I am thinking to myself, "Well dipshit, you about caused a war. Don't do that anymore. This is a nice place. You were invited. You aren't even buying your liquor so it would behoove you to get all of your shit in one sock, fly right and get out of here without getting your ass kicked or embarrassed."
Mike comes over to our corner rubbing his forehead. He walks up to the bride and groom to check on them. He checks with the bartender, the cocktail waitress and then starts walking towards me. He says, "I just had some jack ass tell some customers about a bunch of specials that we don't have and I am pretty sure he doesn't work here. Who in the hell would do that?" He laughed. I laughed and added, "I don't know but that is kind of funny, isn't it?"
Mike being the good natured guy he is said, "I wish he wouldn't have done it tonight. Any other night and it would have been funny." He then added, "If I find this guy, can you help me escort him out?" I said, "It'd be my pleasure, Mike."
So here I stand at the cross roads. I'm guilty, but Mike doesn't know it. The server doesn't know it. Nobody in this party knows it, but sooner or later I was going to have to throw myself out of that place. I stayed around for another beer. The place was filling up quickly and I took that as my que to leave. The problem was, I had to walk by this particular table on my way to the door. They were going to notice my dumb ass for sure.
So, since I already had a case of the "can't help its", I slammed my beer and headed towards the door. I rounded the corner of the bar and was bee lining towards the exit. As I checked on my "friends" sitting in the two top directly across from the exit, I catch eyes with the woman. She does that thing, that look when you think you recognize someone but aren't sure.... I put a smile on and make a brisk turn towards the door. The lady says, "Excuse me." I turned and said, "Enjoy the specials" and hit the door.
It's been 35 years since that has happened. I can't remember if I ever told Mike about that. As far as I know, only that couple, the server, the guy from the kitchen, Mike and I are all who knows about it, and Mike didn't know that I was the culprit.
You can bet your ass that I was buying Mike a beer every time I saw him at the Cowboy. Not even a regular comp. I was buying his drink with my own money. I felt as if I owed him that. Mike, if you're still around, I am going to apologize now. I'm not so sure why I thought that would be funny... but it kind of was. At least to me.
I've got a "different Mike" story. I'll get to that one next.
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