Not your average Dr. Seuss

"Good morning" I said, and they replied "How are you?"
I said "My car isn't running right and that has me blue."

They then said, "I'm sorry about that.  There's no need for panic."
I said, "Thank goodness for that because I need a mechanic."

They promised they had all the tools, they had all the skills
and were more than happy to relieve me of my ills.

I told them "That makes me happy" and I urged them to take a look.
But I had no idea that I was dealing with a crook!

They called to inform me that things looked quite bad.
They quoted me a price and made me feel sad.

They said "the price of the parts, seems to be the culprit''
as he said with a grin from his all mighty pulpit.

I said, "Dear sir, that price seems quite high.''
But I was talking on the phone so I couldn't look him in the eye.

He told me with assuredness that his quote was correct.
I told him that I was going to shop around, he said "why not? what the heck".

So I did shop around for a different mechanic to use
and I found one whose price quote made me bemused!

I told this new guy about where I almost went
then I asked him how he could be cheaper by 66%?

"Don't go to him.  That guy is a quack!"
I said "Please fix my car and you know I'll be back".

I called the other guy and said "You're quote is real funny. 
I just got another quote and it will save me some money."

On the other end of the line there was immediate silence.
It was as if he knew me and expected some violence.

I said, "You tried to take advantage of me and I think you're a jerk.
I found a new mechanic and I'll give him all my work."

The dumb S.O.B said, "That's all right.  I don't care"
to which I replied, "Im coming for my keys and you ought not be there."

I said, "I hope a pissed off 3rd grader stabs you in the neck with a lead pencil
and leaves you lying on the ground like a chalk outline dead body stencil."

Before he hung up I said "I bid you adieu"
I followed that up with "Ill never need anything from the likes of you."

Now I am happy, so elated with my new found friend.
So I said "screw you mother fucker" and this is the end......