"Amazing"....

Have I ever freaked out on the word "amazing" around here before?  I think I have.  The word is so commonly misused it just irks the shit out of me.  To me, the word "amazing" should be reserved for all of the really cool, one off shit that seldom happens.  You know, like if your kid started shitting 24 karat gold Bitcoins or something.  That would be truly amazing.  But to say that "the soup was amazing" is a damned stretch.  Its water, spices, vegetables, maybe some meat, and maybe some pasta or rice.  Nothing about that shit is amazing.

Well, today I saw something amazing!  Normally I'd never use the word because of how I feel about it, its misuse and over use.  Here's the thing... I saw a dude preparing 2 hot dogs at the Maverik Station.  Nothing amazing about that.  I watched this guy filet 2 large hot dogs with his pocket knife, and lay them cut side down on 2 hot dog buns that were flattened in the bottom of a paper plate.  That's not amazing either, but we are getting close to the amazing shit.  This guy put mayonnaise, mustard, brown mustard, chipotle mustard, sweet mustard, and ketchup on them, but it didn't stop there.  This guy went on to use all of the lettuce they had sitting with the condiments as well as about a 1/2 pound of each of the following: Jalapenos, banana peppers, lettuce, onions, sauerkraut, sweet relish, and even salsa!  Even that isn't amazing.  He managed to squeeze a couple of packets of hot sauce on top of the whole mess and had to use 2 hands to carry this massive gastrointestinal nightmare to the register.  It had to be 6 pounds of shit, and the condiment bar looked like it had been hit by a tornado.

The nice lady at the counters eyes got the size of cake plates.  She politely says, "Will that be all" without any hint of sarcasm in her voice.  (That was damn near amazing.)  The guy says "Nope" just the way I though he would and then I heard it.  "That'll be $3.00." 

Just how in the hell do you charge this guy $3.00?  $3.00?  That shit is amazing!  I would have charged his ass $12.50 just upon principle.  You don't go into a public place and jack it up like that!  And you can't give this guy a lecture on the subject.  You can't say, "do you make hot dogs like that at home"?  You know damned well he does!  Where else did he learn that shit!  So you can't say anything like that.  What you can do is say "God Damn", but the point is guaranteed to be missed.  This clown will take the "God Damn" as a compliment.  He thinks you are proud of him for piling that much shit in one of those small hot dog plates they have.

Folks, the facts are simple regarding this scenario.  #1.  It was AMAZING that they didn't charge this guy by the ton.  #2.  You can't fix this kind of stupid, but it is always good to point it out to your kids.