"..... no, no. I'm not special"

A lot of people are aware of my mothers recent health struggles.  They were serious enough to send the wife and I down to Las Vegas, in order to "be there" just in case.  The notice to come was kind of a last minute thing, so I threw a bunch of our clothes in a duffel bag and out the door we went.

We left at about 5:00 p.m. so we drove the distance in the dark.  We arrived at Las Vegas at 2:30a.m. and was at the hospital by 3:00.  We got caught up with the nurses on the severity of mom's condition and found out about what time the doctors would be making rounds the next morning and decided to go catch a bit of a nap.  We get to our lodging situation only to find that someone locked a door that nobody had a key for.  That meant going to get a motel room for about 2 hours sleep or crash in the car, get to the hospital at the right time, and then deal with the door issue.

It's pretty tough to sleep in my car.  You just can't get real comfortable.  Anyhow, after tossing and turning for about 1 1/2 hours, I started the car and we took off for coffee and then the hospital.  After about a half day there, we decided to go catch a shower, find something to eat and then come back.

We got into mom's house.  I go to take a shower and realize that I only brought one shirt.  That would make it necessary to go buy a couple of cheap t-shirts or something.  We knew just the place, so after a shower we decided to head over there.  This place normally has hundreds of plain colored t-shirts but this time they had nothing!  I am going through the sales rack and I finally find one xxl shirt.  On it was the video game logo "Call of Duty... Black Ops ll".  I know of the game.  I'm not a "gamer" myself but I think my son has it.

Next morning I put the shirt on and go to the hospital.  First stop was the coffee stop.  We go inside and place our order.  The girl behind the counter looks at my shirt and gives me this look like she stepped in cat puke or something.  Needless to say, she takes our order and managed to not spit in mine.  (The look she gave me made me watch everything she did.)  I noticed a couple of the patrons looking at me too.  All of them had this same peculiar look... kind of where they tilt their head, stare at you and hope the thought that just ran through their head one way will again run through their mind the other way in order to get an understanding.

I blew it off.  My mind was really on my mothers health.  She was listed as "critically unstable" and that was all I could really think about.  Let me back track a bit.  The first night we are there, we get a lame nap.  The second night we are there, I tossed and turned all night and got maybe 2-3 hours sleep.  So at this point, I don't know what day it is and everything is running together.  I am tired but needed to be there for mom... so there I was.

At the hospital, we made our way to mom's room.  As we hop off the elevator, a nurse type person looks at me, then my shirt and gets that all too familiar look.  I wanted to say "WHAT?" but managed to keep calm.  We walk by the nurses station and I get yet another look.  At this point I make sure I don't have 3 feet of toilet paper sticking out of the back of my shorts, look in the mirror to be sure my wife didn't write on my forehead... but nothing!  Nothing was there, so again I dropped the thought and engaged in the ongoing conversation about my mothers health.

We spoke to the doctors, the nurses and found that there was a bit of improvement.  Mom recognized my voice and was trying to respond.  (She was intubated, so she couldn't speak.)  That was a huge relief and it looked like we were taking a turn for the better. The wife and I both wanted a Coke 0, so off to the cafeteria I went.  The place was busy but there was no line at the soda machine.  I poured us a couple of cokes and headed to the register to pay.  Some dude in front of me was compelled to turn around and see who is behind him.  There I am... shaved head, big goatee, this dumb ass t-shirt, and a pair of shorts while everyone else is wearing pants, sweaters and jackets.

This guy too shot me a look.  Different from the others but still off the mark.  And honestly, this is my home town.  I know its full of jerks.  So again, I play it off.  As I get on the elevator there is a guy who looks to be lost.  As I approach, he gets this look on his face like "I bet this guy can help" but as I get closer his look changed from that to, "Ah damn, that guy doesn't know shit!". 

Now I am about to take offense.  I shot down all of the other looks which is something the old me never would have done.  I am going to say something to this guy but he apparently is on his way to find a janitor or something to ask them a question.  So, I hop on the elevator to the right floor and walk to mom's room.  I hand my wife her drink and ask "is everything all right?".  She nods without looking, and I knew by know... if something was real screwed up, she would have said something. 

We sit there as mom fades in and out, listening to Judge Judy while doing crossword and sudoku puzzles.  My sister arrives and is looking at my mom's finger nails.  She mentions something about a "mani-pedi" which is something my mother used to really enjoy.... but that shit isn't going to happen in the hospital.  My sister sends me down to the in hospital CVS store to get a pair of nail clippers.... and then it hits me.  "All of these people think I'm retarded!"  (I know "retarded" is not a favorable term.... screw off if you're offended.)  I nod and smile because I finally cracked the caper. 

I walk into the CVS and begin looking for the nail clippers.  I find 2 different kinds and chose the one that I believe will be the best choice.  I turn for the register and stand 3rd in line.  When I get to the counter, I place the clippers on the counter.  "Will that be all?" the clerk asks.  "Yeah that's it, thanks" I say.  "$2.39, and I like your shirt big guy."  (NAILED IT!)  The first words out of my mouth were, 'Oh no, I'm not retarded."  Everybody in the joint turns towards me, and looks.... as if trying to determine if my last statement was truthful.  Really uncomfortable, I place 3 bucks on the counter.  The clerk is uneasy, the pharmacist is uneasy, the other customers are now talking amongst themselves.... 

"Way to convince them, genius." I thought as I walked to the janitors closet, thinking it was the elevator.