Day 12 Sneeze

December Hate thing, day 12. Does anybody here sneeze, real hard? When I sneeze, its a damned event. People jump and kids cry. Anyhow, I've got a routine every morning. I drive to town (#JacksonWY) from Etnatucky and pull into the Maverick gas station. I go in and purchase a Coke 0 and a breakfast sandwich. I hop back in the Envoy, make sure Jake is talking smack about something on the radio and dig into that breakfast sandwich. 


Yesterday I make the left hand turn on to South Park Loop after taking a considerable bite of my sandwich, start chewing it, and then it happens.... STEALTH SNEEZE! (Sometimes this kind of sneeze makes you pee a little... serious matter!) You can't prepare for that shit. It just happens, and when it happens and you have a mouth full of breakfast sandwich, you discover you've got a hell of a mess on your hands. I've got tiny bits of salivated on breakfasts on the windshield, steering wheel, visor, door panel, my coat and my legs.... I continue on down the road towards work, cussing... trying to wipe this shit off my person. I look like a train wreck, but here's the kicker. 

Did you know that salivated on breakfast sandwich turns to a thick glue or paste when you try to wipe it off? Yeah, it does... Then your coat looks like it spent the night on the floor of a brothel bedroom. Man, I hate that.