Take my name, for instance. My folks gave me the name Brice (spelled that way) but there is a widely accepted other spelling of Bryce. If you think for one second that coming up with something like "Bryiesse" is expressing your creativity, you've just doomed you child to a life time of "WTF is the matter with your parents?" I know, I know... "I want my little Bryiesse to be different". He will be different, no doubt. He'll be the one kid running home from the bus stop every day, slamming the front door and pulling the limbs off of Grandma's antique doll collection while listening to a cassette tape of Barry Manilow/Marilyn Manson dance mixes. You don't want that kind of different people!
And while you're at it, don't even think of giving your kid a name with an apostrophe in it... It's a name people, not a contraction. And never, ever name your kid Biff or Tad. There aren't alternative spellings unless you drop a % mark or something like a "silent x" after the vowel. Knock it off, people. Do your kids a solid and name them all Steve, Stephen, or Stephan.
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Day 13 sponsored by:
"Get Cash for Your Unneeded Guns!
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Well, I figured it would happen sooner or later. Someone took offense to the bit I wrote above and I spent a good deal of time pondering "what is the right thing to do" regarding this situation. The following is what I came up with and I hope it pleases the masses.
ReplyDeleteI was challenged by a friend to do this. I've been encouraged by other friends to keep going, not only for the month of December but for a whole year or longer. For me, it seems right to do this since these are my opinions of certain situations. I believe I am entitled to have an opinion just like the person who has a problem with what I write or how I write about certain subjects. What I am writing is satirical in nature and is not meant to be anyone's moral compass or true north.
If what I write is really bothering you, please find another way to spend your time. There are starving children out there. There are homeless people. There are bunnies that need hugging. By all means, if what I am writing is so much a bother to you...please, in the name of all peoples sanity.... please run into on coming traffic on an icy road . Just get it over with.
There are safer alternatives that I would be glad to offer. My computer is probably a lot like yours. It has a mouse, a power button and other things that allow you and only you to choose the content that allows you decide you want to see. Please use them.
To everyone who has found a bit of entertainment in what I've written, stay tuned. Put your reading helmets on. I think I have more to say.
As my good friend Raul DeGenova says, "Peace and Chicken Grease".
Brice
Sir, some people just don't get satire, huh?
ReplyDelete