December Hate thing, day #7. I hate spiders. Hate those little creepy bastards! I'm not kidding, I will beat the shit out of a small spider with my shoe for 10 minutes (or call my wife in to handle it for me). Bigger spiders, like larger than a penny.... I'll shoot those sons-a-bitches. I'm not kidding. If I have a loaded shotgun near me, there goes the spider the wall, ceiling, floor, car,...or home stereo the bastard is walking on. Yeah, yeah, yeah... spiders eat bugs. Horseshit. Our house is in a reclaimed alfalfa field and we have bugs galore. We also have spiders galore and there are more bugs than spiders.
My friend Ron Caret and I used to sit around my house in Las Vegas and burn black widows with a Bic lighter and a can of B12 Chemtool.... My wife gives me lectures every single time I light the grill with charcoal starter and a lighter, primarily because I'm liable to catch the whole neighborhood on fire, though there is no B 12 Chemtool and lighters.
I also hate that you can get in trouble for discharging a 12 gauge in your back yard, especially when you have to tell the cops you were shooting at a big ass spider.
No comments:
Post a Comment