1. Cook only organic free range turkey.... Okay, stop that train wreck right there on the track. We just had turkey about a month ago and guess what? The shit tasted exactly the same way it always does because its TURKEY. Organic turkey? Turkeys are already "organic". And "free range", eh? Doesn't everyone remember the great turkey herds that once inhabited the world? No, me neither because there weren't any. What in the hell is the matter with these people?
3. Decorate for the Holiday... You know what? I don't have a problem with decorating. Typically
people are genuinely more happy around Christmas. Maybe its the decorations. Maybe it is because everyone else seems to be having a good time. I'm not even a good Christian and I have a pretty good time at Christmas (until I get drunk and lose my wallet or break a kids toy on accident).
4. Be thankful... I don't have a problem with this one either. Most of us have a lot to be thankful for so I guess this one is a keeper. Listen up people! Follow this one and #3 and you should be okay.
Christmas can't get much better. Well, get rid of the tradition of starting to play Christmas music about the 2nd week of November and drinking egg nog. If you do those 2 things, Christmas gets abundantly better.
Treat people right, surround yourselves with good friends and family, go out of your way to do something nice for somebody even if it is only one person. Tell your loved ones how important they are. Listen, not hear, but listen to a friend in need and do your best to be there for them. Oh yeah, and drink beer!
Ba Humbug! u r a dick man. what makes you think you know everything? you mormans always try to make in seem like u have every thing figuered out.
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous: you are a very good speller keep practising and I'm shur yole figurerer it out. Dick
ReplyDeleteMy Dearest Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThanks for noticing that I am a dick. It's something I take pride in especially when addressing chicken shits like you who sit around and troll, anonymously. "What makes me think I know everything?"... that's an easy one. Me... See, this is my blog and I will say what I want, when I want. If I have offended you, good! Perhaps you take yourself a little too seriously... so, quit hanging around the elementary school and sniffing bike seats.
Oh, about the Mormon comment. You spelled Mormon wrong. You've kind of proved a point. Using that alone as a makeshift "knowledge gauge", I look like a fucking genius compared to you. And honestly Anonymous... I would rather masturbate with a barbed wire oven mitt than sit around and apologize to someone like you. You're a big girl, so pull up those big girl panties and tune into something else.
Love,
Uncle Bricey
You tell'm Uncle Bricey
Deleteoh how you make my stomache hurt with laughter Uncle Brice! God I love you! you're the best and dont let your "mormans" standards keep you from being your happy self! bahumbug! hahaha
DeleteHa Ha! nice to hear from one of my top 3-4 nieces of all times! You know, I have some jack ass calling me a Mormon on one side and on the other side I have a shit load of Mormons hoping I ain't one of them.... I'm always a happy camper. I swear Aunt Dee Dee and I are going to try to get out yall's way before too long! We love you and thanks for tuning into my daily train wreck.
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ReplyDeleteYour twisted view on the Holidaze brings me such joy this time of year. I think you've found a niche with the verbal dysentery that rolls off your tongue like poetry for the hearing impaired. You've invented a new kind of funny. And, no doubt, will get a lump of coal in your stocking this year, but it will be so worth it.
ReplyDeleteKeep spilling the ink!
Johnny, I am all over this shit like a kid from India at a spelling bee! Keep throwing a little coal on the fire and lets see if this shit will blow up!
DeleteOh Uncle Brice! If you are Mormon, that is news to me! Well at least we know people are miserable, and we can 'pray' for them together... Love a jack-Mormon Injun Squaw! Better known as JJ.
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